Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
