I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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