you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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