Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
