i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
