Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
