"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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