Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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