Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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