we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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