If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Randomize
