'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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