Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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