Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
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