omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
