My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
