your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
You took a bar mat shot.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Verdict: uncircumcised.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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