I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
