As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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