using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
