so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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