I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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