Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
