DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
