I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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