i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
