please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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