Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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