dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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