You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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