i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
