It's Friday. Sex?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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