Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
