Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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