it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize
