Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
