I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
