Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
