i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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