So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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