I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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