so that wasnt chicken after all
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
