You don't have asthma, your pregnant
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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