I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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