you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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