I'm drive I can fine osifer
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
