We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
