she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
