**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
