I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
as a side note pls kill me
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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