dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
