If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
